If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize