At least make sure they are 18
Why
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize