I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
