Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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