He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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