sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Sponge bath it is.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
