I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
