Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
