Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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