Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
