So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
