Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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