when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
