I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Randomize
