I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
