I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
