He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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