onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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