you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
