I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
