He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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