is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
