She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
