I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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