she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My pussy is not your playground.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
