I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
40s are totally the cure
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
