Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
