Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
