I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize