Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
