Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize