Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
