I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
