You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
