I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
