I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
zippers are such a cool invention
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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