i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
smell my finger.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
