And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
