Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
