So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
