Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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