brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
