i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
