adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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