I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
