i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
