Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
