Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
