he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
