wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
