lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
