I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
