he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
