Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl

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(732): View more from New Jersey

It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you

Fav 25 869 5190
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(419): View more from Ohio

I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?

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(854): View more from

i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews

Fav 8 2066 1117
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(517): View more from Michigan

I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.

Fav 19 1190 2282
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(440): View more from Ohio

Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.

Fav 7 2005 895
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(210): View more from Texas

The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas

Fav 8 1719 952
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(914): View more from New York

I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?

Fav 2 136 265
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(804): View more from Virginia

If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle

Fav 0 16 19
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