You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize