Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
