Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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