He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The adults are the big ones right?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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