I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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