why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
