hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
