I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
MIDGETS
????
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
