can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
