So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
