It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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