Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize