You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
